I Tried the Gen X Way to Drink Pepsi, and I Can't Stop Thinking About It

I basically had to double-dog dare myself to drink this abomination of dairy and cola, because I was sure I was going to hate it. Milk with Pepsi? And annoyingly named "Pilk"? Another eye-roll of an internet sensation. I wouldn't even be talking about it right now, except for the fact that I drank an entire glass of Pilk because it actually tasted… good.

And now I can't stop thinking about it.

The Evolution of Pilk

If you were around in the 1970s, this trend is nothing new. It first got its moment in the sun on an episode of "Laverne & Shirley" in '77 where Laverne drowns her sorrows in a legit bucket of Pepsi-milk.

With barely a peep from cow bubbles until the dirty soda swerve of the 2010s; and a shy, near-comeback as part of the 2020s meme-verse; Pilk roared back into the spotlight thanks to Lindsay Lohan's 2022 Christmas collab with, you guessed it, Pepsi. Dressed like a curvaceous Mrs. Claus, she set out "Pilk and cookies" for Santa. (I've gotta be honest, that also sounds delicious.)

I'm Gen X, but in no world had I ever heard of Pepsi with milk, until now. However, can I just say, reviews on the internet sure aren't doing Pilk any favors. As one thirty-something described it, "This is something that my grandmother would make me drink in the morning after a hangover." Another said it tasted similar to "sour iced coffee."

But I got my hopes up when someone else reviewed it as, "Not as disgusting as I thought." I couldn't help thinking of Lloyd Christmas in "Dumb and Dumber" when he says, "So, you're telling me there's a chance?"

How to Make the Best Version of Pilk

Well, if I was going to embarrass myself by ringing up Pepsi and whole milk at the supermarket, I was determined to make the best Pilk humanly possible. I scrubbed the internet for the ideal ratio, method, and ingredients to bring you the ultimate Pilk recipe: three parts Pepsi to one part milk. (Don't even think of going 1:1. And if the amount of milk is greater than the Pepsi, you're beyond hope.)

But wait! The rules: You must combine regular Pepsi and full-fat milk (reduced-fat is too watery). You must also pour the Pepsi first, into a glass with ice, followed by the milk. You should probably stir it together. And drink it immediately, cold. Anything else isn't Pilk. It's Mepsi, or—even worse—just gross milk.

Maybe I'm the target demo, but one sip in, and I was transported to Pilk paradise. What is this velveteen concoction I've been missing all my life? Was it reminding me of milk tea? Cream soda? The remnants of a melted Pepsi ice cream float? It didn't matter. I tasted none of the sour off-ness, leaving only a sweet, creamy cola coating on my tongue. That said, this was probably my first and last Pilk, only because I don't really drink soda (or the slightly more complicated version with milk). But still, if you have the ingredients in the door of your fridge, why not give it a whirl?

How to Change Up Your Pilk

Want to take Pepsi milk to the next level? Make a quick DIY sweet cold foam for your Pilk. Froth barista milk (I used Califia Farms Unsweetened Vanilla Almondmilk), sweetened with a liquid sweetener, for about a minute. Then, pour it over iced Pepsi for an extra-rich and creamy milk layer. (Cold foam soda would also probably taste amazing with Orange Soda, like a Creamsicle. Just saying.)

I'm guessing that, by the laws of generational coolness, Pilk will be over by the time you're done reading this sentence. So I guess I'll just have to "6-7" and try to "rizz" up a new "delulu" drink combo from Gen Z. Later, bro.